Lesson 4: Working 9 to 5

Uf, getting back to the blog after the Christmas holidays and the horrible January. Sorry for the long absence.

And this hard month brings me to the next lesson: going back to work after the maternity leave!

Well, I will just say it plain: it isn't easy.

First you have to deal with the guilt feeling.
And it is not a simple feeling. You feel guilty because your baby is  at the nursery (that lovely place that he actually enjoys more than being all day at home but that you have associated it with a jail for babies, yep, that place).
You feel guilty because you are actually enjoying being away from him, having a small slice of your previous life back, having adult conversations, being something else than a mum. Don't deny it, you are having a nice time and you feel bad about it.

Secondly, you have to deal with the stress and the very very very tight timetables. You will spend longer than usual getting ready in the mornings, and you would have had less sleep than usual so your movements will be slower...
You will be running to the office without make-up or with uncoordinated socks or forgetting something or without checking your hair. Forget it. You will never be the same. You are a working mum!
And after all the hard day of work, run again to pick her up from the nursery. Entertain her while preparing dinner or organising the house and get ready for the bath and the bed routine. By 8pm you will die for a bed...

Last but not least, you will try to keep things as they were before. You will accept the same amount of work and even will try to juggle travel and outings with the colleagues, just to keep in the loop. "Nothing has changed, I am the same person" will be your mantra. Although some morning you will find difficult to remember your computer password.

I know, it looks impossible. But it is not. Just try to relax and enjoy the roller coaster that your life has become. I promise more fun moments are coming your way.

You will learn to live with a survival kit in your handbag and that will make you an asset in your office.

You will be admired and feared by your colleagues.

The few hours you will spend with your child will become the most fantastic and fun times of your day, and he/she will feel the same.

You will be a survivor!!!.

Baby, it's cold outside

Since last Sunday, we are suffering at home the second cold of the baby's life.

Here are some of tricks that I've used and have worked more or less.

For the fever:

• Remove some layers of clothes, sometimes to the bare minimum (only the nappy)
• A warm bath (slightly colder than the usual)
• Calpol (Seriously considering buying some Stock shares of this company)
• Lots of liquid (colder than usual milk, water, diluted juice, etc.)

Remember that if the fever stays for over 3 days, you need to visit the doctor. And if it goes over 39 degrees better call your emergency services and check with them.

For the congested nose:

• An onion cut in pieces so it "bleeds" next to his/her head.
• Put some books under the top end of the cot and tilt it so the baby's head in higher than the feet.
• Saline drops (Some babies hate it, some babies love it, but it works)
• Some container with water over the radiator for having some steam in the room.
• Snuggle baby ointment (for the chest, the back and the neck)

Note that if the baby is younger than 6 months the snuggle baby cannot be used on his/her skin, so put some on a handkerchief and attach it to the cot closer to the baby's head.

In general:

• Try to make turns with your partner for calming the baby down. It will be a long night.
• Make sure you are wearing warm clothes when you attend the baby: the steam and the fever will make you sweat and get cold yourself!!!
• Patience, lots of it. You will get annoyed and sleepless for a few nights, but it gets better. Promise.

Tips & Tricks series 2

Once or twice a week, ensure you have a couple of hours for yourself. Your partner can take care of the new baby or the baby can be sleeping, but make sure no one is going to interrupt you.

Prepare yourself a bath, select a movie you really want to see or get a good book while drinking your favourite hot drink. Relax and forget that you are a mother for a while. You won't regret it!

Lesson 3: Follow some advice but make your own decisions

Before the baby arrived, as you know, I read many books and articles and I listened to other mums and dads, but one article that really stuck into my head was this one: Why French Parents Are Superior

After reading it carefully, I realised that it was my kind of parenting: playing with your children but teaching them independence, allowing them to enjoy with the parents but having some manners and discipline.
I thought long about it and I decided to combine it with some others old ones. Like not having them constantly on your lap or move them to their own bed as soon as possible. So far, I cannot say that I have succeeded or failed, but here are some of my techniques for achieving it:

• Use the bouncy chair from the day 2 for doing home tasks while he was not sleeping. - It allows you some time for doing what you usually did before and gets him used of being on his own little by little.
• Allow him to spend long periods of time playing on his own at the gym or the high chair.- Stimulation on his own and independence, just what we wanted!
• Move him out of the parents bedroom once the night breastfeeding stopped. - Most of the times the parents are the ones who are wakening up the baby in the middle of the night and getting back your own bedroom feels weird but nice.
• Ensure that other people hold him and encourage his smiles and interaction while doing it. - Sociability is a good skill and I think it reduces the separation anxiety...
• Explain what is going to happen every time I need to change his nappy, his clothes  feed him or getting him to sleep. - Be respectful to him and he will be respectful to you (or that's the idea)
• Encourage him to fall sleep on his own with different techniques. - Again, independence!!!

Some of these techniques were severely criticised but I had already discussed them with my husband and we were sure of what we wanted. After all, we are his parents and we supposedly know best.

Ranting about winter baby outfits

Living in Scotland is great. I love its people, I love its atmosphere, I love its history. And I hate its weather.

As it was not difficult enough to dress for winter myself everyday (How do you manage to not look the same the whole year?) now I have to dress the wee one.

I've stocked up his wardrobe with lots of long sleeve shirts, polo shirts, jumpers, cardigans and corduroy trousers. But I feel like he is wearing everyday the same clothes!

Last week, we *finally* received a box full of presents and clothes from Spain. They were all lovely and warm and nice, but too big for him :(

I'm now in the search of a nice and smart party outfit for the holidays. Already seen this from H&M:  

What do you say? Do you like it? Any other ideas for the holidays?

Routines & "routines"

Although I thought I had a very good knowledge of what a baby could need during her first years of life, when we got pregnant, someone gave us the famous "The New Contented Little Baby Book: The Secret to Calm and Confident Parenting" by Gina Ford and I managed to read it during one of my business trips.
I felt it was quite helpful but too strict for my style of parenthood that I was planning already.

 

Then, a good friend and recent mum recommended "Secrets Of The Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect and Communicate with your Baby"  by Tracy Hogg and I read most of it (Some parts were too repetitive and were extremely similar to the first book).
I felt that it was closer to my parenting style but not close enough to follow it completely.

 

When the baby arrived, the mayhem started, and I decided to create my own routine based in all the knowledge acquired from those books.
I followed my own routine based in the FAST routine from Tracy and with similar hours than Gina, but not being too strict and modifying the times after each month or so. I used many of the tips from both books, like changing clothes from PJ's to comfortable clothes first thing after breakfast feed or waking the baby up using the light.

I don't think there is a manual for all mums and dads out there. Each parent has to find their own routine and stick to it. If it works for your baby, it works, and that's it.
I recommend reading those books and getting the essence of them, but do not get too stressed if your own baby doesn't want to follow those routines, probably your baby just needs a new and completely customized one, only for her!

My baby essentials II

We've talked about the essentials for clothing and bedding, but there are other stuff that are essential for a new one. Let's try to do now a list for toys, furniture and general stuff:

Furniture (very simple essentials):

• A moses or mini-crib:I recommend the moses as you can move it around the house the first three months
• A cot with 2 adjustable heights: Mine is convertible in a bed for the future, just trying to save some money :) 
• A changing table: Simple, stable and if it has drawers or shelves under it, perfect for keeping the nappies, creams, etc.

The nursery was finished long after Baby arrived...

Toys (Essentials):

• A baby bouncer or baby hammock: This is a "must". Perfect for keeping the baby safe when you need to do other stuff. I even bring it to the bathroom and leave the baby there while having a shower.
• A baby gym: It is great for the baby to play during the first months. Safe and full of fun.
• A rattler: I discovered that Baby preferred the hard plastic ones than the softies, but that depends on the baby.

Feeding:

• Bottles: I recommend this even if you are breastfeeding. Because there may be situations that you won't be able to be there and you can always express some milk and use a bottle. My favourite brand is Avent. I bought the beginners kit with absolutely everything on it, and it has been the best deal ever! (Tesco has it now for £40!!!)
• Sterilizer for bottles: See above!
• Dummy: This is going to cause some controversy. But I am very pro-dummies, sorry, my husband is a dentist and he told me: "You can always remove a dummy but you cannot remove a finger". My favourite brand is MAM (I've tried all of them and Baby only wanted that one!)
• A flask: Good for "on the go" but essential at my home for preparing the night feeds. We did not even have to leave the bed!!!
• Milk Powder dispenser: I use Avent because it came with the kit but Tesco has cheap ones too. Always in conjunction with the flask for the night feeds...

So, what do you say? Do you have anything else to add?